How to Properly Do Laundry (Satire)

As a mom, you will inevitably wash a lot of clothes. It will be endless. Hours and hours will be spent washing, drying, folding and hanging clothes. And the kicker is that most of it won’t even be yours.

Below are 15 easy steps for how to properly do the laundry in your home.

1. Wait until everything in the house is dirty, with the exception of one unmatched sock
2. Lug all 50 over-flowing baskets into your laundry room
3. Ignore baskets for as long as possible
4. Sort clothes into loads

 

 


5. Cram way too much into the washing machine, add your detergent, and press start.
6. Realize that noise you are hearing is the washer rebelling and trying to walk its way out of the house.
7. Rearrange and remove wet clothes as needed until the washing machine decides to cooperate.
8. Switch clean laundry to the dryer, and press start.
9. When the dryer stops, restart to avoid having to fold the clean clothes. Repeat at least two more times.
10. Throw dried clothing into an empty basket and ignore for as long as possible.

 

11. Realize that the Laundry Fairy didn’t swoop in and put the clothes away for you. (Damn her!)
12. Fold clothing and place back into basket
13. Ignore folded clothing for as long as humanly possible again.
14. Realize that you are apparently the only person in your house that possesses the skills and is capable of putting the clothes away.
15. Put laundry away while mumbling curse words under your breath and daydreaming of running away to a tropical deserted island.

Voila! You have now successful and properly done the laundry…just in time to turn around and realize there is miraculously more waiting for you. Mountains and mountains more. See, I told you it would be never-ending. I bet that deserted island is looking better and better right about now.

laundry, humor, mom humor, funny

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About Lisa Wingerter

I'm a 32 year old, married, stay-at-home-mom from the Metro Detroit area

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